Years have passed and things have changed a lot. None of those gifts under the tree through the years have ever had any lasting impact on my life. But when we gather together to celebrate Christmas every year now, the one thing I look forward to the most is the thing I used to dread…spending time singing and sharing how much the gift of God means to us now. We share moments of worship and prayer for hope in a tired and desperate world. Now that the years have proved His faithfulness in our lives in light of our constant need for redemption and comfort, this time together has become so much more rich and important to me. I guess that means I’m growing up a little

My older sister did not want me ruining her toy so my Mom decided to give me my own stuffed “Ernie” for Christmas one year. I opened the box and was so excited. There was only one problem. This particular version of the stuffed toy had it’s felt eyes pasted on too close together and it made poor Ernie ghoulishly cross-eyed. I was so pre-occupied with the wonder of Christmas as a 4 year old that this did not really bother me until bed time. Tucked into bed that night I reached for my Ernie toy and by the glow of the night light it was revealed that this usually friendly Sesame St. resident now looked freakishly evil and wouldn’t stop staring at me with his crazy cross eyes. I could not sleep. Eventually, I emerged from my room, crying and terrified and related how scared I was of my Ernie toy which I loved and hated at the same time (conflicting emotions for a 4 year old).

My Mom, ever patient and wise, grabbed the Ernie toy and performed cosmetic surgery by ripping off the felt eyes and pasting them back on correctly, producing a much more happy look on Ernie’s face than the scary face that it had before. I took my Ernie toy in hand and never had trouble sleeping again…

I grew up in an eastern Canadian town called Truro, in Nova Scotia. I’m the sixth of seven kids. My Mom taught music and my Dad ran a dairy farm. When I was three years old, my father was killed in a car accident, leaving my Mom with 2 kids, 5 step-children and a farm to run. Growing up, I had quite a tumultuous relationship with God. But in spite of the anger and doubt I experienced, I believed He was real. He is the only Father I’ve ever known, and I’ve felt his presence in my life since I was really young.

Music and spirituality were always connected in my family but it wasn’t until high school that I got more serious about pursuing a way to be a part of the music that had touching my heart and soul—a place where I felt God. I was very insecure and unsure about myself at the time, and it was music that reached me. I felt a sense of God’s healing and life…I was hooked.

My first year of college, I moved all the way to Vancouver, British Columbia, and I felt like a really small fish in a huge ocean. I began writing some simple songs, but I was too scared to play them for people. One fateful day, a friend dragged me to a coffeehouse on campus and informed me that I was signed up to perform at a singer-songwriter night. I was so scared, but I also really wanted to share my songs. So I got up and started playing an electric keyboard. At one point in the middle of my song the unthinkable happened. Suddenly, without warning, a breaker flipped off in the building and the keyboard I was playing lost power. I was so embarrassed and had no idea what to do, so I closed my eyes and kept singing a cappella. Afterward, I opened my eyes to a room full of people with eyes closed.

I’d never considered leading worship before that night, but for months after, people came up to me and told me how they had been moved and how God had used my song to touch them. I was shocked! That night I’d tried to prove that I was good enough as a musician to be worthy of their admiration. But when the keyboard died and I had to sing all alone under the harsh spotlight, I was made completely vulnerable. Instead of trying to be cool, it forced me to be real and God was able to speak through me as because I got out of the way.

I transferred to a small school in Alberta the next year. For some reason, there was a surge of young and creative musicians on campus during that time. We were all stuck together in the middle of nowhere, discovering our individual and collaborative gifts. What happened there really changed my life. A group of friends and I started a music community called Monday Night Worship (MNW). It began with a conversation a group of us had about our hunger to begin a journey of truly knowing God. We didn’t know exactly what it was that we wanted to see happen, we just knew we believed that something could happen. Soon there were hundreds and hundreds of kids showing up every week, longing to experience God in a fresh way.

MNW grew so fast that I was constantly thrust into situations I was not ready for, but the burden of such a rapid response was shouldered by our community as we stayed grounded in our growing love for God and each other. We had the opportunity to hit the road at that point for a tour that ended up lasting an entire year. We received letters and emails from record companies in Nashville and industry professionals who were hearing about our band. In one month, 5 major Christian labels contacted us. This led to an opportunity to sign a recording contract and make a go at a music career. When the tour ended, the band separated and I moved to Nashville. That next year had a lot of exciting firsts. I recorded my first album, toured across North America, and shared the stage with some of the biggest names in Christian music. I also experienced some of the worst of what the industry is and perpetuates. It derailed me and I ended up in a major crisis of faith.

That’s how I ended up at The Woodlands UMC, a church community that caught me as I was falling and gave me the opportunity to serve and get real about life apart from the billion dollar Christian music industry. I learned that a true artist is someone who willing to spend time in the trenches, serving and getting their hands dirty. The process is a lot more real and painful than the illusions of our celebrity obsessed culture, but in the end it’s what separates true character from the disposableness of where much of the music world is right now.

This humbling experience has led to some incredible opportunities to see God move in powerful ways. For starters, I went on a series of trips after my first CD was released. I hadn’t really found my voice yet as an artist and I didn’t want to continue writing and making music until I knew what I was supposed to say. The experiences of working in small villages in Guatemala, Jamaica, the inner city in Caracas, Venezuela, and working with the previously war torn yet fledgling youth culture in Poland affected me deeply. All of a sudden I had a lot of questions. I felt guilt, compassion, rage, and hope all mixed together. It burst open a dam in my soul and everything just came rushing out. I began to see the full power of what music means in all of our lives, how it connects us, and what a gift it is along the pathways of life. There’s real power there, and I don’t want to take that for granted.

God is calling our generation to revolutionary change. As a generation trying to find meaning, we’re discovering that true purpose and calling does exist, but it requires giving our whole lives to it no matter the cost. Jesus paid a high price on the cross, defeating sin in order to make it possible. I am so excited to be able to share this kind of hope.

I woke up early that morning after a grueling drive that had lasted well into the night before, with a sore throat, a headache, and the achy feeling of a low-grade fever. My first thought was, “how can I get out of this, there’s no way I can perform today “. I managed to get up, take a shower, gather my thoughts, and hit the road.
I was running a bit late so I can’t deny that I was navigating the back roads of Burbank and Universal City at a pretty hasty clip. And, as luck would have it, on the straight stretch of Buena Vista Blvd, I got caught. Local police on motorcycles jumped into action from their hideouts and I was one of several cars to get pulled over and served with a $210 speeding ticket.

By the time I arrived at the Universal building, I was exhausted, sick, and angry. I just wanted to get this thing over with and go back to bed. I met my contact at the label and with guitar in hand I waited outside of the conference room where over 100 music executives were listening to one of their colleagues tell of her adventures on the road with Elton John. I noticed the walls inside the room were covered with pictures of legendary artists who had called the Universal label home over the years. On any other day I would have been scared to death of performing in front of such an elite crowd. That day however, I did not care. I was now breaking out in a sweat from the fever and seriously wondering if I was going to be able to get through my 3 songs without passing out.

I don’t remember exactly what happened next, I heard my name being introduced, saw a flash of flat screen TV’s at the front advertising my CD as I walked up to the microphone feeling nauseous and then…something extraordinary happened. As I looked out at that gathering of movers and shakers in the music industry I suddenly felt complete calm, complete peace. This is not normal for me even in the best of circumstances. As I shared and sang my songs I felt God’s presence in a very unlikely setting. When I was finished a guy in the front, who I found out later was the President of Universal, requested one more song. The song “I Shall Believe” came to mind and I shared how for me that song is sung from a son to a Father and as I grew up without a Dad, I sing that song to God. Afterwards a lot of people expressed their appreciation, one lady had tears in her eyes, but the most peculiar response was from a guy who simply handed me a sealed envelope. When I got back to my car after the meeting was over I opened it. Inside a note simple said how this guy had seen God that morning through the music. He said that he was moved, and he declared, “…I Shall Believe Again”.

I notice I had a text message from my manager letting me know how many people were praying for me that morning and I knew immediately why it was important that I had experienced all those unpleasant things earlier. Normally I would have tried to impress that crowd, wanting them to think I was cool. But in the state I was in, I was incapable of performing so God gave me the strength to be real, and as a result He moved in someone’s life.

In our weakness, He is strong. That experience taught me a lot. It was humbling/amazing and has re-energized my heart to get out there and be salt and light in this world.
-Matt