Heart Of The Matter

I had the opportunity to perform in Hollywood last month at NBC/UNIVERSAL (who are distributing my latest record) for the Music Executive’s Friday staff meeting. It was an intimidating situation to say the least. A familiar voice began to speak in my mind telling me I was out of my league…that I didn’t belong there. Not only was I an independent artist, but a Christian independent artist. Was I a joke to these people?

I woke up early that morning after a grueling drive that had lasted well into the night before, with a sore throat, a headache, and the achy feeling of a low-grade fever. My first thought was, “how can I get out of this, there’s no way I can perform today “. I managed to get up, take a shower, gather my thoughts, and hit the road.
I was running a bit late so I can’t deny that I was navigating the back roads of Burbank and Universal City at a pretty hasty clip. And, as luck would have it, on the straight stretch of Buena Vista Blvd, I got caught. Local police on motorcycles jumped into action from their hideouts and I was one of several cars to get pulled over and served with a $210 speeding ticket.

By the time I arrived at the Universal building, I was exhausted, sick, and angry. I just wanted to get this thing over with and go back to bed. I met my contact at the label and with guitar in hand I waited outside of the conference room where over 100 music executives were listening to one of their colleagues tell of her adventures on the road with Elton John. I noticed the walls inside the room were covered with pictures of legendary artists who had called the Universal label home over the years. On any other day I would have been scared to death of performing in front of such an elite crowd. That day however, I did not care. I was now breaking out in a sweat from the fever and seriously wondering if I was going to be able to get through my 3 songs without passing out.

I don’t remember exactly what happened next, I heard my name being introduced, saw a flash of flat screen TV’s at the front advertising my CD as I walked up to the microphone feeling nauseous and then…something extraordinary happened. As I looked out at that gathering of movers and shakers in the music industry I suddenly felt complete calm, complete peace. This is not normal for me even in the best of circumstances. As I shared and sang my songs I felt God’s presence in a very unlikely setting. When I was finished a guy in the front, who I found out later was the President of Universal, requested one more song. The song “I Shall Believe” came to mind and I shared how for me that song is sung from a son to a Father and as I grew up without a Dad, I sing that song to God. Afterwards a lot of people expressed their appreciation, one lady had tears in her eyes, but the most peculiar response was from a guy who simply handed me a sealed envelope. When I got back to my car after the meeting was over I opened it. Inside a note simple said how this guy had seen God that morning through the music. He said that he was moved, and he declared, “…I Shall Believe Again”.

I notice I had a text message from my manager letting me know how many people were praying for me that morning and I knew immediately why it was important that I had experienced all those unpleasant things earlier. Normally I would have tried to impress that crowd, wanting them to think I was cool. But in the state I was in, I was incapable of performing so God gave me the strength to be real, and as a result He moved in someone’s life.

In our weakness, He is strong. That experience taught me a lot. It was humbling/amazing and has re-energized my heart to get out there and be salt and light in this world.
-Matt